Gaining Perspective

I'm really tempted to say that this month sucked. It has felt like an uphill climb everyday. I've frequently felt like I've fallen and struggled to get back on my feet only to have them knocked out from under me again.

• We trimmed our budget to bare minimums. I stopped buying convenience items from the grocery store and began making everything myself.

• We had 2 weeks with no satellite tv or Netflix, only limited on-line options. Not a big deal for us grown-ups, but the girls sure got tired of watching the same 6 shows. Boredom fuels tempers.

• We dealt with head lice. (If you missed that, see Labors of Love and Nit Picking.) I'm nearly caught up with the laundry from that; only 2 comforters left to go.

• Some very serious things happened yesterday that I can't go into. It knocked me down for most of the day and will hurt for awhile.

• This morning one of my grandparents passed away. It wasn't unexpected, but it still hurts. And I hate that I live so far away that I can't go be with my family right now.

I'm really tempted to say that this month sucked. But, lately I'm finding myself in awe of the way the Lord is using me to care for my family, giving me the strength, patience and endurance to weather all these storms.

I would say this month sucked, but when I look back on some of the other really rough months I've had in my life, I see that I've come out stronger. My faith is strengthened and I may even have gained some wisdom.

To say that this month sucked seems kind of like saying that I've given up. As difficult as this month has been, I know that I've made it through. My family still loves me, all our needs are met, and we're together. With those truths, what do I have to complain about?

A Year Ago Today

One year ago today, Little Guy was admitted to the hospital with RSV. (Respiratory Syncytial Virus)

It started as a runny nose that developed into a junky sounding cough. I'd had him into the pediatrician February 11 where he was diagnosed with an ear infection and bronchiolitis, and treated with antibiotics and 2 inhalers. I was instructed on how to tell if he was having trouble breathing and told to get him seen immediately if he seems any worse. I had taken him to our local ER on the 17th and 21st because it seemed like he was struggling to get air. They gave him a breathing treatment and sent us home, with me questioning my ability to determine how sick Little Guy was. (I found out later that our local ER does few infant cases and I would have been better off to take him to the next town over.) I took him back to his pediatrician on the 22nd. The doctor took one look at him and said he needed to be admitted. We were literally walked out of the Dr.'s office and through the tunnels to the hospital. We were put in an ER hallway to wait until a bed was available.

Kiddlet happened to be with me this day; she was in an every other day kindergarten class and this happened to be a day she was home. I had not planned for us to be gone all day and even if I had, we didn't even have a chance to grab anything from the van before we were walked to the hospital.

So there we were, in the ER hallway by the ambulance bay doors for, I'm not kidding, about 8 hours. We didn't have any food with us, any books, games, anything for Kiddlet to do. She did discover the ice/water machine almost directly across from us and occasionally entertained herself getting a drink. One of the nurses took pity on us and brought some blank paper, crayons and a patient breakfast package. We played tic tac toe, drew pictures, ate cherrios and took pictures with my cell phone. Throughout the whole thing, Kiddlet remained in good humor and didn't start to complain until we were well into our sixth hour.

Meanwhile, Husband is on his way home from where ever he was working at the time. I have to say, the company he works for was very good about everything. Husband was working out of town at the time and his supervisor dropped everything to get him home before Strong-Willed One got off the school bus. Since we only have on vehicle, they even brought Husband straight to our house and told him to keep them updated, but not worry about work.

Husband got home in time for the school bus. I was trying to figure out how to get Kiddlet home. Anthony was exclusively nursing and would not take a bottle. A trip home and back to the hospital would cross a feeding, so there was no way I could go. Of all our extended family, everyone was either working or had no vehicle. I think it was around 5pm when I finally reached one of my brother-in-laws. He drove the 30 minutes from their house to the hospital, brought me dinner (best Big Mac of my life), took Kiddlet back to their house for dinner, then made the 1 hour round trip to our house and back.

Little Guy finally got a room sometime after 6pm. Because of his condition, we were put in a room by ourselves and everyone entering had to be gowned and gloved. The nursing staff were great! They made sure I understood everything that they were doing for Little Guy and why and made sure that I was doing okay, too. I think it was about 9pm when he fell asleep again, and I was finally able to leave his side. I made a trip to the drugstore for things like a toothbrush, munchies and a book. And look at what I got to sleep on.

The next day, my best friend called my cell. She told me she was going to my house to stay with Strong-Willed One (who was home from school with a fever) and giving her car to Husband so he could bring me clothes and spend the day with Little Guy and me. She was even prepared to stay overnight if needed. That is one of the greatest gifts that has ever been given to me.

Little Guy had been admitted on a Tuesday and was released on Thursday. I had been given the option to stay another night if I wasn't comfortable taking him home yet, but I felt mostly okay about leaving and I needed to see my girls.

It was another week before he was well enough that he didn't choke when he cried, two before he was back to his normal happy self. This virus had lasting effects. Every cold led to a junky cough that required inhaler use and constant monitoring. It's only been in the last 4 months that he seems able to fight off colds on his own and I don't have to make extra trips to the pediatrician. I no longer freeze inside when Little Guy coughs, although we're still being instructed to isolate him when he gets congested.

This whole experience was overwhelming. Even as I sit here remembering, tears fill my eyes. And it's not so much the memory of how sick he was, but the way our family and friends rallied around us, supporting us and making sure our needs were met. I said it many times then and I'll say it again: Thank you so much!

How Did I Do It?

I realized the other day that Little Guy is now one month older than Strong-Willed One was when Kiddlet was born. There are 16 months between my girls; Little Guy hits 17 months tomorrow.

Little Guy takes a lot of my time. He plays very well by himself, but only after I've spent a good 30 minutes or more on the floor with him. And he's in this stage where he needs to be able to look up and see me. As long as I'm in his sight line, he's fine. But if I'm in a different room, he comes looking for me, then fusses and whimpers until I come play with him for a few minutes. It gets old fast. And then there is the time it takes to give bottles, feed, dress and change the little guy. And, of course, clean up after.

The years that the girls were this age are pretty hazy. I honestly don't remember much about how we would pass the days. All I'm clear on is that that is the summer I was taking orders for homemade apple pies. I made dozens of pies that summer, all from scratch. I seriously have no idea how I did that.

Weekend Doings

For the past month or so, Saturday has been pizza night. I think I've finally figured it all out now. My pizza dough recipe makes enough dough for 2 medium sized pizzas. If I use a preheated stone, I can bake both pizzas at once. And this weekend I even had some help!

Sunday was a busy day for us. Church in the morning and then straight to the in-laws for soup and buns with the family. Little Guy usually sleeps for the 30 minute drive there, but this time he only slept for about 20 minutes. This is a kid who usually has a nap every 3 hours or so and he'd been up since 7am. So with only a 20 minute sleep since 7am, he was one pooped kid by the time we left at 3:30pm. He fell asleep almost as soon as we started moving.

All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. The girls spent most of Saturday complaining how bored they were, but that's nothing new. Husband and I managed to sleep in until 9:30 on Saturday, always a treat!

Stuffed Peppers

I love food. I enjoy eating food, but what I really love is working with food. I read cookbooks like they're novels. I've worked in restaurants. I love serving people food and I love preparing food.

I'm a decent cook when it comes to day to day meals. There are things I make that my family enjoys, things that they don't mind and, occasionally, things that no one likes. One of my joys is preparing a meal that I know my husband enjoys. Because he is on the road so much, this is something that doesn't happen all that often.

Last night I made stuffed peppers. I have a mixed history with stuffed peppers. I remember having them for dinner one night when I was in grade school, not wanting to eat them and then getting sick. It was many years before I would willingly eat another stuffed pepper. Then one day shortly after Husband and I married, I got a taste for stuffed peppers. After searching my cookbooks for a recipe and coming up with nothing, I set about developing my own. As often happens with this kind of thing, my stuffed peppers may taste slightly different each time, but Husband really enjoys them. I wish I had remembered to take a picture before we ate, but I didn't. What you see here is what was left over.

 It looks pretty sad sitting there all by itself, doesn't it? It looked much better when it was grouped with red and green stuffed peppers.

My girls don't care for cooked peppers but they love the filling. So I make extra filling, top it with cheese and bake it as a casserole. The following recipe reflects that.

Sage's Stuffed Peppers

4 medium sized bell peppers
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1lb ground beef
3 cups cooked brown rice
1 - 680ml (about 23oz) can tomato sauce
Mrs. Dash
oregano
basil
3 cups cheddar cheese, shredded

1. Cut the tops off the peppers, remove the stems and seeds. Chop the pepper tops; set aside. Microwave the peppers in a covered container for 4 minutes; set aside.

2. In a frying pan, combine the diced peppers, onion, garlic and ground beef. Cook over medium heat until the meat is cooked and the peppers are soft.

3. In a large bowl, combine the ground beef mixture, cooked rice and tomato sauce. Using Mrs. Dash, oregano and basil, season to taste. Stir in a couple handfuls of cheddar cheese; mix well.

4. Stuff ground beef mixture into peppers and place peppers in a baking dish. Top each pepper with cheese. Place remaining ground beef mixture into a casserole dish and top with cheese.

5. Cover peppers and casserole and bake at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes. Uncover and bake 20 minutes more.

We've Made it This Far...

For about 5 minutes on Sunday, I felt like Supermom.

It was about 3:30pm. I had my 4th load of laundry going in the basement, granola bars cooling on the table, bread rising in the oven, Strong-Willed One on the floor in front of me for yet another nit-picking session and Little Guy on my lap having his bottle.

What amazed me was that I wasn't feeling any resentment. This past week has been exhausting. I've never done so much laundry, made beds so many times, or vacuumed this the house this much in less than a week. I've spent hours washing hair and then combing through it in 2 inch sections. I've prepared meals, packed lunches, washed dishes, picked up toys and helped with homework. I planned meals for the next 2 weeks and grocery shopped. There has been one night that I got to bed before midnight, though most nights were later than that. Yet here I sat on Sunday afternoon feeling like Supermom.

God has given us all the grace to get through all that has been going on. When I started grumping about all the laundry, He reminded me to be thankful I have a washing machine and dryer in the house and don't have to go to a laundromat. Not that long ago I went for a month without a working oven; I wouldn't have been able to provide my family with healthy homemade granola bars or homemade bread. I spend most of the year as a single parent, yet the past two weeks and this week Husband is actually home every night.

In the midst of all of this, Little Guy is fascinated by the world around him, things he's never seen before (like a big bag of hairbands) and is growing more confident in his ability to walk, providing us all with many smiles.

Nit Picking

Not the nagging your spouse nit-picking (not that I endorse that kind of thing), but actual nit picking.

As I mentioned yesterday, the school called on Tuesday to let me know that Strong-Willed One has lice. I did a bit of research on-line before she came home as to how to treat it. As I was going through her hair after the treatment, I was utterly confused. I couldn't tell what I was looking at and still wasn't sure exactly what I was looking for. So, yesterday I spent a fair amount of time on-line learning about lice, nits and how to get rid of them. I watched a bunch of videos on doing lice checks, using different methods to get rid of lice and one funny cat compilation. We are using the tea tree/olive oil approach with a rinse of white vinegar. When the girls got home from school I performed a lice check on each of them. Strong-Willed One still had lots of nits (which are the eggs); on Kiddlet I thought I saw just a few nits. I massaged the oils into their heads and hair and then covered the hair with a plastic bag. Just before we sat down to dinner I wash Kiddlet's hair and did the vinegar rinse. When we were done eating we started the nit picking. I was absolutely horrified by how many lice I combed out; I couldn't believe it. She had nits too, but those weren't that bad. From the time I started combing until we were done - 1 hour 28 minutes.

It is now 8:30pm. I still had to wash Strong-Willed One's hair and do her nit picking. Her head is a nightmare. I think we got most of the bugs last night; I only found one actual louse, but she has nits everywhere. From what I've read, many of these are old. Because nits are essentially glued to the hair, you pretty much have to pick them out one by one. There is simply no way to do this on Strong-Willed One's head without spend many hours doing it; she has lots of very thick hair. I did the best I could with the lice comb and picked out the ones I could easily get to. It was 10:10pm when we finished. The poor girl was so tired.

I'm so very thankful that Husband is around this week. He kept Little Guy occupied, cleaned up after dinner, washed all the dishes and picked up the toys. I'm not sure how I would have been able to do all this last night without his help.

Now, a question for all you who have dealt with lice before. Do I have to put fresh bedding on the girls' beds every day or can I just vacuum them? I'm vacuuming all the furniture while they are at school and I've lifted my ban on doing laundry during the day (higher electricity rates) simply so that I can keep up with it. Any other advice on dealing with head lice is welcome.